Saturday, September 28, 2013


One date, two stories.

1st story:

Back in 94/95 I was in the ARMY.  I saw in my head the number 28.  I was engaged and thought that maybe that was going to be the day I got married.  This is one of only two times God has shown me a number, yet at the time I didn't know what it was.  At this point in my life I said I was a Christian, but I had no idea what that really meant and my lifestyle did not support that claim.

Fast forward a few years later I had dated a guy by the name of Mike Hastings.  It was a short lived relationship, but we remained friends.  My best friend Sabrina called me one night and I knew right away that something was wrong.  She said she was on her way over to my house.  I remember the details of this night vividly, as if it was a neon sign seared into my mind.  She told me that Mike was dead and I was in shock. The next night we went to see the group of friends we hung out with, then all the funeral stuff happened. Only later did I realize that he was buried on the 28th.  I had no idea why that number would be important to me, at the time it was just a number, just a faint idea of what could come.

Mike committed suicide.  A friend of mine knew someone on the police force so I heard the details of what happened.  Still not sure if I needed to know those details.  The only reason I am glad to know them is because there was time.  I believe in that moment maybe for the first time he did not feel alone nor was he. There was time to accept God before the end and I have to believe that he chose God because in grief and desperation to see pure love would be overwhelming, I would think that many would turn to Him.  That he believed and felt unconditional love for the first time.

You see he had a plan.  He wrote letters to his family.  Took a gun from a friend.  He was intent on killing himself.  When someone decides to commit suicide, they will follow through.  Unless there is a cry for help that is noticeable they will end their pain themselves, yet many miss the signs along the way.  They have no idea what devastation awaits everyone else that is around them, they are only thinking of themselves. Many intelligent and kind people commit suicide, they are under the impression that their demons will never go away and they have come to this final step to ease their soul.

In John 10:28 it says this "I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand." So even in that moment Mike could still accept Jesus and be saved.  I believe all sins will be forgiven even in the process of ending ones life.  Romans 8:38-39 says "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  I have heard so many that say that those committing suicide are going to hell, but if we are not in those last moments we can't say that to be true.  We are precious to the Father and even when we make bad decisions I am assured that He is near.  When we are at our most desperate there is comfort that can't been seen with our eyes or heard with our ears.

2nd story:

I thought that was the end of the 28th.  In 2007 I had my daughter and my mom came down for a visit.  She was visiting in October and when she got back to Ohio on a bus my grandparents had a rose for her.  They didn't say anything, they just took her to the hospital.  My dad was there very sick, his body was shutting down.  My dad made sure to tell his dad to get my mom a rose, which was very sweet.  By the time mom got to the room he couldn't communicate, but he could still hear.    He was in a bad situation and was unlikely to fully recover if he lived.  I spoke with mom on Friday and she said that he was doing better, but Saturday I knew he wasn't going to make it.  How I knew I didn't know, I just knew.  My mom had a dream Saturday night and she knew that he wasn't going to make it either.  So I started packing so that we could drive up from TN to OH.  I called on Sunday and mom told me he was gone, that I already knew, she just confirmed it.  He died on the 28th.

He put off going to the doctor for tests and said he would do it while my mom was visiting us, he never did. He came back to God a few years before he died, even doing bible study and going to church.  As far as I can remember he never did that while we were growing up, I never heard him even speak about God, ever. His health was declining, but he never change his lifestyle.  He kept drinking and eating foods he was suppose to avoid.  It is sad to lose someone early when it could have been delayed for many years or decades.

You may think this is a bit crazy, but when I sense something is from God I try to pay attention.  This date I thought was good ended up being sad and I don't know if this is the end of the 28th, only time will tell.  You may say that this was a coincidence, but that word is not in my vocabulary.  I do not believe in mere chance or coincidence. That would take away any glory from God and give it to fate instead of faith.

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